Category: Advice & Random Thoughts

Five Legged Dinosaurs

Posted on by alvin

Me and one of the most memorable campers I worked with at Camp Galileo. I forget the year here but it was quite a while ago – this has to be 2008 or 2009.

When I was working at Camp Galileo in my early 20s, we were making paper mache dinosaurs. This kid with a haircut that looked like it had its own personality was making a brontosaurus with 5 legs or something in addition to the tail, and I had asked why he gave it 5 legs. Without missing a beat, he had a whole explanation for why the brontosaurus needed 5 legs.

There is something to be said about kids and authenticity when they are younger than 5. In many ways, they are their full, authentic self. They like what they like. As they age, they start becoming influenced by peers, the media, family and friends. They gravitate toward things that are socially acceptable because it means less conflict. It is an easier path. They will fit in.

One of my favorite students over the years was such a great example of this. In his case, it all happened a little later though. When he walked into my room freshman year, it was hard to miss him. Bright accessories, bold fashion choices — you name it. His personality was just as loud as his fashion choices. I remember him being extremely talented and intelligent as well. He was fearless.

Years later, I had the chance to work with him again. By this point, he was completely different. The bold fashion choices were gone. In its place, more typical teenager attire. A much calmer personality. Still as talented as ever, and dare I say commanded school. He was helpful, but more often than not, he’d talk to me about what was going on in his personal life. It sounded all too familiar.

I challenged him one day.

“What caused this dramatic shift from freshman year to now?” I asked.

“I just grew up.”

If that was his truth in that moment, I wasn’t going to challenge it. In another conversation we were discussing his freshman self and I shared that he was fearless and so popular. He said in spite of that, he would still get made fun of a lot, especially in the locker room. Those kinds of things are the things that unfortunately shape us. They certainly shaped me.

There was a moment during my pandemic wedding where I was on the receiving end of two scathing messages saying my wedding was against everything God teaches. And no, the messages were not delivered that way. They were worse, obviously.

I was hurt. I still am hurt by it, but I have since moved forward. What made it sting was that up until that moment, I felt like I was finally being myself and was surrounded by people who were on the same page. So to find out that some people in your own network still weren’t, to this day, was very painful.

It took me back to a vulnerable place in my youth where I felt I couldn’t be who I wanted to be and tried to project another version of myself to assimilate easier.

People these days when they meet me, or see me on social media or in person, assume that I have always been outgoing. That was not always the case. It took a lot of life experiences to get me to where I am now, which is unapologetically me… my full authentic self.

People are welcome to be part of the ride, or they can opt out because at the end of the day, I will continue being me.

I think that little kid making the five-legged dinosaur had it figured out before the rest of us did. He wasn’t worried whether it made sense to anyone else. He liked it, so he made it.

Somewhere along the way, many of us lose that. Maybe adulthood is less about growing up and more about finding our way back.

I Haven’t Blogged in 3 Years.

Posted on by alvin

I told myself I’d be good at blogging when I launched this years ago, and clearly, three years later I have lived up to my own reputation of not being a good blogger. I suppose a big part of it is the fear of being “cancelled” – a term that has emerged within recent years which essentially means everyone turns their back on you and you potentially lose everything you have.

It sounds silly explaining the concept of someone be “canceled”, today in this moment. I suppose far down the road, we may need that reminder of the concept of cancellation; or at least I will, with the way my brain keeps throwing things away into my own personal “memory dump”. (Inside Out 2 just came out by the way, which was a terrific film.) FYI, Jennifer Lopez is the latest to be cancelled for appearing to be inauthentic. Interestingly enough she was on top of the world just a few short years ago having done the Super Bowl with Shakira and was a strong contender for a bunch of prestigious awards when she had done the film “Hustlers”.

So upon reflection, I came to the realization that this blog should ultimately document key events in my life that I never want to forget and perhaps the occasional reflective post. The goal is to go back to 2021, and work my way through key events retroactively whilst blogging about current events.

With that – wish me luck. Hopefully the next post won’t be in another 3 years.

x

COVID 19 Chronicles: Part 4 / The Light

Posted on by alvin

I think it’s safe to say at this point, 5 months since my previous post, that the pandemic is a hot mess.

… At least in the United States.  

But then again, London did just have that new strain break out and they were forced into a stricter lockdown just days before Christmas.  They had originally been told they’d be allowed to celebrate with up to three households only to be told a few days prior to Christmas that it wasn’t going to happen and forced London businesses to close within a few hours of notice.

Something like that sounds like it was lifted straight out of a Zombie apocalypse film; but no, that’s just another day in 2020.  

For all intents and purposes a quick summary of the virus since July:

The virus continued its rampage throughout the US, and certain states were hit hard as the virus obviously doesn’t discriminate.  Early in 2020, New York was the sh*t show, sadly right at the time I was supposed to have my bachelor party.  The sh*t show has shifted to many states throughout the year – notably the Dakotas and as of this moment, California.  

California currently is in a forced lock down comparable to the first in March with a few notable exceptions.  Retail is allowed to stay open this go round, albeit at 20%.  Outdoor dining has been taken away and restaurants are back to take out only.  Gyms are closed again, only allowed to operate from the outside (and are required to wear masks still, although based on my personal experience, I see the gyms still have a hard time enforcing that fully).  Schools are still in distance learning.  (More on that later, too.)

Covid cases are the highest they’ve ever been in California since March, and the US has the most cases globally.  ICUs are overwhelmed with covid patients with many reaching max capacity here.  

… Suffice to say – things aren’t going so well.  And yet there is a light at the end of the tunnel, in the form of a vaccine.  It has arrived and is slowly being administered on a tier system – with front line workers gaining access first (rightfully so).

Other notable 2020 mentions for the last half of the year:

—

So where does that leave me and how was the last half of my 2020 (man I need to be better at blogging in smaller increments and more often).  Like my previous entry I’ll break it down into categories so you can skip to the interesting bits.  This is a definitely a lengthy post.

Distance Learning

Like mentioned in my previous entry, it had been announced that our district would move forward with a distance learning model for the safety of staff and students.  It’s been a bit of a wild ride with that. 

In the beginning, a lot of the students were participating and had little issues getting online and there was a genuine excitement from them that I felt; not unlike a regular school year.  We call that the honey moon phase – everyone is recharged and ready to hit the ground running.  It’s comparable to when suddenly everyone wants to return to the gym on January 1st. (The shade! But really, no better time to start. Be nice to newbies!)

And just like a normal school year, once that phase wore off, normal student habits set in, but exacerbated due to the pandemic and all the politics that come with distance learning in a public school district.

With distance learning, it created a whole new set of challenges, especially for public schools.  Students’ emotional well being often being cited as an issue (I concur) and other issues like wifi connectivity, an environment at home that is not conducive to learning, the inability to force students on camera, having to teach technical web skills that some teachers themselves may not have – the list goes on.

For me, early on, I decided that the academic part can be scaled back a bit for two major reasons: 

  1. The kids obviously have a lot on their plate and 
  2. They had a lack of supplies and resources anyway.

The pandemic was/is a unique situation that may never happen again in their lifetimes.  Whatever benchmarks that were expected of them were all created by us and can easily be shifted.  I think the most valuable lesson a kid can learn right now is resilience, if I am being honest.

I scaled back my curriculum this semester (we only really did 3 projects), radically shifted how I grade and have an almost non existent late policy.  A large majority of the period is talking about life lessons and how they’re all doing.  That being said, I genuinely feel we did some of our students a disservice by not setting the bar a little higher.  

And what do I mean by that?  

Certain things like not requiring students to be on camera.  I understand the need to feel secure and safe – but my view is instead of assuming it’s an issue across the board, why not figure out the kids who genuinely have the issue and work with them? Many private school has that as a requirement out the gate. Thinking about a teenage Alvin, if the camera weren’t required to be on for me, it’s likely I would not be doing my work also.

I was contacted a few times by parents concerned about their child’s grade and every time the parent was taken aback when they had found out their child wasn’t required to have their camera on, with their follow up responses often being “Why isn’t it?” Or “Force them” and the simple truth is we can’t.

About a month in I did ask a student why she had her camera off all the time and she told me she simply didn’t want to be the “only one” with it on.  And so one day I requested all their cameras on and informed them that while I can’t force them to do it, if I saw their camera off I will contact their families to ask how I could better assist them and low and behold, maybe 75% of them turned on their cameras.  Still couldn’t get a few of them to turn on, and that’s okay – maybe they’re the ones who genuinely feel uncomfortable. And I respect that and honor that.

… but that’s just one issue.  I will not bore you with the multitude of other issues that impede a student’s potential for success. I think distance learning isn’t too bad at all, in my honest opinion. It just is struggling behind a lot of politics, many of which should be non-issues. Is it a replacement for in-person learning? Definitely not.

And I will say that from my experience, the upperclassmen (juniors and seniors) are doing exceptionally better versus the freshmen.

2/3s of my 5th Period class who are comfortable enough to have their cameras on. Faces obscured for privacy issues, obviously. I think they’re my favorite period for Art-1. Shhh don’t tell the others.

There were a lot of success stories and “aha” moments; moments like when they nod and smile and laugh at your lame attempts to connect with them, funny chats in the chat box, those students who come through with some amazing work despite all the odds.  I know a lot of them genuinely enjoy just being able to talk to me – that in itself makes me know I am damn essential right now. I also learned about new anime I should be watching from them, like “Demon Slayer” and why Ariana Grande is indeed relevant, and just how many gamers we have in this new generation.

Student examples from Art-1.

My heart does break a little thinking about some of the students I am unable to reach.  The ones who in person, may have still been a challenge, but that in person interaction could have been the edge they needed to make it over to the D, or C.  I also really feel for special ed students.

So in a nutshell:  It’s okay to scale back, it’s okay to go slower, it’s okay not to get through every single lesson we normally would because kids are overwhelmed and stressed.  Simultaneously, students must continue to learn, and resilience and accountability are important life skills I think we must instill in them right now.  It’s something I definitely talk about with them almost daily – a common go to phrase being: “If I somehow break my foot right now, unfortunately, the rent is still due at the end of the month.”  A bit bleak – but I know they love me for that honesty.  

And one last random story: when their first project was due (which we spent forever on because I didn’t want them to stress), I was dismayed to find that a good 8-10 in every period traced their images off the computer.  Instead of giving them the 0s, I gave them C’s and asked them on camera if they traced.  They all smirked and nodded and owned it and were thankful for the C and said they wouldn’t do it again.  Point of the story being that a little compassion can go a long way, and at the same time, the bar doesn’t have to be so completely lowered that there is no accountability.

The upcoming months are still a question mark.  I know elementary schools are closer to being brought back.  Private high schools will be moving into a hybrid model.  Our district and many other public high school districts are still up in the air.  Guess we’ll see!

Ouchii

Ouchii Face Masks Galore
Me with one of the many Ouchii Face masks I designed in the last quarter of 2020.

Closing down my retail locations slowly throughout 2019 was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life.  It was disheartening to see something you built up for years slowly become a victim of changing retail trends and a series of bad luck events, namely Amazon/the rise of online sales and operating expenses and probably the most significant blow:  Westfield Valley Fair doing us dirty by renewing our contract after a successful holiday season which I based my next big moves off of only to rescind the contract after I had already signed new contracts elsewhere.  That blunder set off a chain of events where we now had to supplement two locations off the strength of one. It made for an extremely stressful 2 years. The most stressed I’ve ever been in my life – likely no one even noticing (I do not like to project my problems on others.)

Even worse: it was a Westfield corporate decision from out of state!  They had flown in to check on their mall’s redevelopment phase and felt Ouchii “did not belong” there.  (Evidently carts selling fake rainbow iPhone chargers definitely is more suited to the bougie Valley Fair customer than we are.)

Anyway – the “light” here is perhaps one of the brightest.  By checking my own ego in November, and shuttering the Ouchii brick and mortar doors, it opened up doors to new possibilities.  I was so busy busting my ass 24/7 just to keep them afloat that it started to limit my own creativity.   

And who would have known that the pandemic would happen RIGHT after?  Talk about dodging a big bullet.  

Ouchii is now in its 7th year of operation.  We’ve shipped to a good 40 or so states in the USA, been at Eastridge Mall, Great Mall, Valley Fair Mall and Oakridge Mall, had our own brick and mortar stand alone store in Milpitas.  We’ve grossed over 1 million USD, with the majority being made within a 2 year window.  We’ve sold tens of thousands of products and I see my work floating around the bay area all the time – sometimes even within the school I teach at (students not knowing any better that the designer is right there in room J-3).   All of that and in 2019 I had to ask myself what I had to show for it? 

2020, or the pandemic really, allowed Ouchii to reset and find a renewed passion for the work that I do.  I’ve come out with some of my best designs as a result of shedding the burden of expensive rents, insurances and employee costs.  This year due to creative new designs and product, I was able to double what Ouchii made in 2019 with no brick and mortars or leases and actually pay myself for the work finally.

Lesson here is sometimes it takes making difficult choices in order to move forward.  Glad I made the difficult choices I had to make and I think about it almost every single day.  Due to the exposure I’ve received from all those years in retail, I am lucky enough to be able to operate online successfully and every day I am learning more about how I can reach new customers.  It’s exciting and knowing that I can finally reap the benefits of the hard years of blood, sweat and tears brings me a lot of happiness.

Ouchii cell phone cases – I haven’t had cell phone cases made since 2015!

Ouchii Fitness

Lights, camera, action! Adapting to online fitness was a game changer.

One of the saddest moments of this year was when I received notice I was not asked to return to 24 Hour Fitness.  I had made many good fitness friends there, and I was able to grow my fitness network extremely large there.  I loved every gym I was at, but 24 was the only one that had let me know that I wasn’t being asked to return.  The others I kind of knew that I would be brought back already. 

I think it was more of an ego thing than anything else now that I’ve had time to reflect about it.  Their decision wasn’t a reflection of my talents or skills – the fitness industry in general is struggling with the pandemic and 24 was already going through a lot of problems financially pre-covid.  They couldn’t bring us all back even if they wanted to.  

When I took my group fitness skills online branded under “Ouchii Fitness” – I honestly didn’t think it would last as long as it did.  But here we are, 9 months later still going strong.  What’s most humbling is they are willing to subscribe to class packages to help keep my fitness side gig going. 

I am so thankful to my online fitness family.  Together we work out almost daily and have bonded.  There are sprinkles of people from every gym I was at; now all together.  There are people who I’ve never met in person who somehow found me and decided to stick around even after I started requiring package purchases.  

Perhaps most inspiring is seeing some of the Zumba crowd now lifting weights and doing push ups.  They, like me, have evolved and changed.  Had the pandemic not happened, some of these folks may never have stepped foot into a Strong class, and yet here they are, pushing their limits every single class.  It’s inspiring!

In terms of my own health and fitness, my body has changed now that I’ve been forced to slow down.  Prior to the pandemic, I was teaching 12 group exercise classes a week (10 of which were Zumba) across the south bay, while maintaining Ouchii’s brick and mortar and teaching high school full time.  My body now that I look back was so thin – even though if you had asked me back then I thought could have trimmed up.  But that’s what happens when you see your body every day – sometimes you just don’t notice these changes.  I think I’ve found the perfect balance with HIIT, Body Pump and Zumba, each twice a week.  

January 2020 versus now.
Last year versus now.

One day we will all be back the gyms, albeit in a new normal way.  I’m contemplating keeping online fitness classes even at least partially when we go back to the gyms completely, and will now make it a priority to make sure my classes are balanced, and I do not go overboard anymore.

Family 

My family is doing well.  My mom has recovered from her terrible fall that forced her into emergency surgery.  She still waddles around like a penguin but she’s doing okay.  She needs to continue to monitor her health and eating habits and I do worry about her all the time (just ask my fitness peeps or high school students – I legit talk about her and my family a good amount).  My dad thankfully is fine.  He could lay off the sweets a bit I think but he’s still strong and working hard as always.

My siblings are fine, my nephews are still mega cute.  Cameron “Cammy” is starting to talk and repeats sentences almost perfectly – it’s really impressive.  I think he is more shy compared to the other, but doesn’t have stranger danger.  He will walk right up to you to be picked up (a good and bad thing I suppose).  Oliver “Olly” is more sociable and likes to laugh and scream.  He doesn’t speak as much as Cammy does, but he does say select words.  He kind of reminds me of myself sometimes.  He’ll do things like line up his toys in a straight line, or organize things by color.  If their current behavior is any indicator, it would appear as if Cameron is wired more like my brother, who was always stronger at math and science, and Oliver is wired more like me who flourishes with the arts.  My sister I feel is somewhere in the middle.

I worry about my sister-in-law Gladys who is still going through the motions with her cancer battle.  When going through treatments, it’s tough to see.  Watching my brother be supportive and strong strangely enough is also tough for me to see.  There were moments during this pandemic/year where I’d feel low when I know things are going rough for them.  Thankfully, as of this moment, she appears fine.  They are a lot stronger than I am.

From left to right: My brother AJ, Nephew Cameron, Sister-in-law Gladys, Mama Normita, Dad Bob, Sister Athena, Brother-in-law Kevin, Nephew Oliver, Yours truly, and my partner Jeff (Jey).

This Christmas, it was just me and my partner, sibs and my folks.  It was something none of us were really used to, notably my mom who you can tell was a little sad she wasn’t hosting some grand party.  However, it was a nice change.  We all took Covid tests as a precautionary measure.

We actually used our formal dining table to have a formal dinner for once.  Normally it’s a prop that is essentially unused all year unless my mom was hosting a party, in which case the table would be used as a food serving table. We took some nice photos the next day. It was nice because we haven’t had a family portrait taken since I was in 5th grade and had hair. Funny enough in that portrait we were wearing red and white and it wasn’t for a Christmas shoot and I always felt it looked Christmas-y.

In terms of my extended family – I feel we’ve bonded more in 2020 than we ever have as adults in a long time.  And it’s just really cool to continue to grow up with my cousins into the ‘middle aged’ phases of our lives slowly but surely.  I still think we’re funny as ever.

—-

To summarize:

2020 was not an easy year for many, and I had my own personal struggles but every day I do not take for granted that I have been extremely fortunate to be employed with my teacher job, my fitness career was able to continue thanks to an extremely loyal, fit and funny group of people, and Ouchii was able to stay afloat due to the time to recalibrate and rediscover my passion for the designing aspect.  I am thankful to be healthy with my partner and to have him during all of this mess.  

And just for fun:

Goals for 2021

  • Get married finally after the pandemic messed that all up.  (More on that later).
  • I want to continue my fitness journey online and slowly find my way back to the gyms in a way that makes sense for myself and my network.  
  • Have more organized, spaced out releases for Ouchii continuing the trajectory of online growth with my original characters and continuing my foray into pop culture and anime.
  • Continue to stop hoarding.
  • Post to all my social media channels regularly.  
  • Continue to dodge the Rona by being safe, and educating myself.
  • Continue to help students feel okay and maybe teach them something cool in art.

The pandemic doesn’t magically disappear at midnight tonight, so more “Covid Chronicles” will be posted as the weeks progress. But until then, Happy New Year, friends, family and strangers!

COVID 19 Chronicles: Part 3 / Where Do I Start?

Posted on by alvin
My nephew Cameron, who turned 1 in July!

I remember being on a Zoom call with my cousins and sibs a few months back and we were talking about how there’s no way the government would have us locked down through the summer and people would start to get impatient and riot.

… and here we are.

A month back or so, we were finally brought to “Phase 2” – which allowed many restaurants to reopen for to go options. To me, that was more than enough to make it seem like we had some form of normalcy because prior to that, I was legitimately cooking and what not. Not much else was open aside from the groceries and hospitals. Another expansion would happen that would allow indoor retail to resume not too long ago. At that point – I began to worry. I made the mistake of walking into a Ross with my mask thinking everyone would be responsible here in the Bay Area and of course I was wrong. It looked like a zoo in there. Masks off, people touching their faces… I knew it was only a matter of time before we got shut down again.

… lol and here we are again. After a brief reopening of gyms here in Santa Clara specifically, 2 days after, they were all shut down again. You’d think people would get it together and follow instructions because other countries seem to get it but evidently Americans are more concerned with having the freedom to spread the virus as they please since they view it as a hoax or something that impedes on their freedoms. I’m not going to get into that though – that in itself is a cluster f*ck and a blog entry all its own.

So instead, I wanted to focus on a few key, pivotal moments that stood out to me personally in no particular order:

1) My Birthday
I was prepared to be sad on my birthday. It usually tends to happen – dating all the way back to my teens (Again, long story). But somewhere along the line in my 20s I just decided that my birthday was as awesome as I was going to make it for myself and made sure I had a great time every single year. With COVID-19, it seemed like I would be right back to sad ass birthdays. But, to my surprise – after teaching Zumba virtually on Zoom to some 100 people and having a glass of wine with them after was one of the most meaningful birthdays I’ve had. Almost cried actually… almost. I was just happy my mom was safe after her tumble, and seeing everyone smile post Zumba with their cups of wine really brought me joy. Thank you everyone who greeted me and especially those who came to dance with me that night. Jey and I also had dinner after upstairs which was nice.

2) Social Injustice
I was prepared to type a full on blog about my birthday but then a week or two after, George Floyd was murdered by a police officer by being pinned down to the ground by his neck. He suffered for 8 minutes and 46 seconds before he was put in an ambulance and declared dead. His murder sparked nationwide protests and riots and sparked heated discussions online between family members, friends and strangers. Just a few months prior in March, Breonna Taylor was killed in her own home by police. Regrettably, I failed to blog about Breonna – or even mention her name. It took yet another murder, nationwide riots and peaceful protests to finally get many including myself to pause and reflect and seek action. While I am starting to see the social media feeds slowly return back to “normal” – I hope the message and mission aren’t lost and continues to bulldoze forward. I hope the the complicated and heated conversations continue. I hope we respect each other and continue to acknowledge our own biases and privileges so we can understand the injustice that happens every single day to the black community. And something that I am trying to practice now more than ever is practicing empathy and learning to listen.

George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. Just wanted to say their names again in case you forgot them. <3

3) Ouchii Fitness
One project that I am so proud of was launching Ouchii Fitness. As a business owner, it’s always important to ask “What does the community need?” And with COVID-19 continuing to keep gyms shut, the answer was clear: the communities need ways to stay fit.

The beauty of group fitness is that the group dynamic encourages everyone to bring their energy and hype each other up. When that was suddenly taken away from us, many of us who enjoy the group dynamic lost the motivation to exercise. My free Zoom sessions were started shortly thereafter lockdown and culminated into www.OuchiiFitness.com. I launched the service just this month and have 50 or so members subscribed to some kind of fitness package and I am lucky to have such a dedicated group of fitness enthusiasts who trust me with their fitness goals.

4) 24 Cans Me
I got an e-mail saying I needed to join a conference call from 24 on an upcoming Wednesday. I dialed in and was greeted with an automated voice mail telling me I was being let go, along with countless others. It stung. I know the company is suffering, as are most gyms right now – but 24 specifically was already filing for bankruptcy. I think what stung most is knowing that I was chosen based on who knows what criteria and others were spared. What about all the people I brought in? The people who joined because of my classes alone? All the events I did? Or the fact that I did all that for half of what some other instructors made?

In a weird way – it all worked out. The other gyms who I feel have a more accurate grasp with what I can do or what I’ve done all reached out to me to return, which I am thankful for. However, with COVID-19 not going anywhere, and all the gyms consistently being asked to shut down – maybe it was all a sign?

I have no ill will toward 24 as a company. Could some things have been handled differently? I think so… but I did get a lot of perks out of 24 – the most significant being amassing a large network of fitness followers. And someday, I’m sure we’ll all be dancing, doing burpees and lifting together in person again at the gyms (maybe 24 again? Who knows?) – but as for now, I am okay running Ouchii Fitness and keeping people healthy and happy from the safety of their homes.

5) Birthdays Galore
My mom turned 65 – she can finally order off the senior menu at Sizzler (assuming they survive). My mom is one cool, funny lady. Both my nephews also turned 1 this month. My siblings of course wanted to give them the big party that most parents tend to do for their first borns (shout out to the forgotten middle children of the world!) but they responsibly decided to do drive thru birthday parties.

My other nephew, Oliver, born 2 days after Cameron who also celebrated his 1st birthday in July.

5) Distance Learning Fall 2020
It was also recently announced that my district, along with most of the state will be doing distance learning for the first semester of the 2020/2021 school year. The debate amongst people saying we, as teachers need to go back to the classroom is crazy. I’ll leave it at that.

As I end this entry, I just want to say I am thankful for such a strong network of people to help me get through this pandemic. Not once have I felt alone. I am thankful for my partner to have to talk to daily (and even when I don’t want to talk just knowing he is available to do so), thankful for my siblings and parents, my funny cousins, my friends, and my fitness family.

If you find yourself alone and need to chat – I am all for it. Let’s Zoom.

COVID 19 Chronicles: Part 2 / Keep Them Close

Posted on by alvin
Me and Mom - Roseville 2019
Me and my mom in her home in Roseville last year. She hates this photo, but I like it.

They say when it rains, it pours.  That expression didn’t pop up in my head on its own – I was venting to my gal pal and Zumba buddy Ashley (check her out by the way, she’s awesome) about all the happenings of the past week and she replied with that expression.  She may have used an expletive as well.

 And honestly, it was f*cking perfect.  See what I did there? 

If 2020 wasn’t enough of a crap fest already in the first quarter with an NBA legend passing and Australian wildfires, of course a worldwide pandemic would be the perfect cherry on top.  The pandemic was/is creating problems on a large scale, no doubt; but within our homes it is creating its own set of different challenges that all of us unfortunately have to deal with.  Whether it is suddenly finding ourselves unemployed, isolated and alone, trapped in a house with a bad case of cabin fever, getting on each others’ nerves for those of us who live with other folks or worse – seriously ill as a result of the virus itself… to say that times are rough is an understatement for many. 

I’m fortunate enough to say that my problems I suppose seem trivial next to the struggles of others.  However, this week I was presented with two news items, neither of which were pleasant. 

My mom’s aunt was terminally ill in the Philippines, and while I had known that for several days, I wasn’t expecting her to pass so quickly.  The day she had passed, my sister attempted to call my mom to get updates.  My mom, who isn’t the best at picking up the phone to begin with didn’t pick up.  I told my sister that it was highly likely my mom was already on the phone speaking with her siblings and other relatives about the passing.

To my shock and horror, it turns out my mom had slipped in the bathroom and was in excruciating pain. 

Just to give some context, my parents moved to Roseville over a year ago (something that I still haven’t come to grips with fully) and their plan was to have my dad work in the Bay Area for a few more years and settle in Roseville once he is retired.  In the meantime, he’d drive up on the weekends to be with my mom.  My first reaction when they decided to move was entirely selfish on my end.  I didn’t want them to move because I wanted them here.  Because I needed them here.  Despite the fact that I I’d visit once or twice a week at best – just the idea of knowing that I could visit at a moment’s notice and eat lunch with my mom and dad was a comforting one.  My second reaction was fear.  What if she were alone during the weekdays and something horrible happened?  I always worry about my parents’ health – my mom more so.

… So she broke her hip and was in pain.  One good thing about this pandemic (there’s something that I’m sure you don’t hear too much of) is my dad was off work and at home with her.  She was rushed to the hospital by ambulance and admitted immediately.  My dad was unable to go with her due to the COVID-19 restrictions.  It was extremely scary being here in Campbell and unable to do anything.  She had to undergo hip surgery and they inserted a metal disk.

And she had to go through it alone. 

My dad was awesome and sent us updates periodically throughout the night as he’d get them.  My siblings also were proactive with trying to figure out solutions for her recovery.  I facetimed her a few times – she’s still in the hospital and is in pain but at least she is alive and will be on the road to recovery soon.  Thank god!

If that wasn’t enough, my brother dropped this bombshell that his wife (my sister in-law) found a cancerous tumor in her colon.  She will be admitted for surgery to extract it today.  I am praying that once it is removed that it will be the end of it.  She is the mother of one of my two nephews born a week apart – the other nephew being from my sister, Athena.  We need her alive and well to guide him.  She too, will be alone in the hospital due to COVID-19.

So where am I going with this?  I wish I knew.  This is what is in my head at the moment. 

My take away is that I love my family.  I’ve always known that.  Likewise, I know it’s the same for many of you.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget in our day to day lives that nothing is permanent.  Things can change in the blink of an eye.  A home can be sold, a job lost – even worse, a loved one can pass (rest in peace, Auntie Flor).

During this pandemic lock down, I hope those of you who are fortunate enough to have a loved one living with you spend time loving them harder (interpret that however way you want… I can already imagine the giggles from some of you).

This also isn’t exclusive to a significant other.  If you have kids, enjoy the moment.  They may drive you crazy when you’re trying to work remote or when you’re trying to decompress, but you are their everything.  If you live alone, I hope you find the time to face time or have great phone calls with loved ones. 

Last night, Jey was sleeping freakishly close to me.  Normally, we sleep pretty far apart – we both need that space and overheat quickly.  But last night I think he subconsciously just needed me to be close, or perhaps he sensed I needed it.  Either way, I’m glad he was there.

Much love to you all!  Stay healthy, and take care of yourselves.

xo

COVID 19 Chronicles: Part 1 / Easter

Posted on by alvin
COVID-19 Project - Garage gym!
My garage upgrade – call it my COVID-19 project.

So now that we are in week 4 of social distancing in California, I figured now would be a good time to write about it.  Four weeks ago, I was writing on Facebook about how it is ridiculous that we are not out of school if not for the safety of our students, then definitely for the safety and well being of our older staff as well as those of us who live with older folks. 

At the time, opinions were all over the place – with some still comparing the virus to the flu, some thinking we did not need to be out of school, some thinking it was Dooms Day… it was actually pretty stressful if not annoying being on social media.  I can’t really fault the nay-sayers, because I was amongst them initially. However, I also like to stay informed and constantly read and watch the news and I am very fortunate to have family who are the same, and will constantly update me. (Love you guys, by the way.) As it became more and more clear what a danger this virus was, I became increasingly more vocal about it.

… But let’s not lose focus. 🙂

Here we are in our fourth week, and not only has California shut down all schools for the remainder of the school year, but all non-essential jobs have been ordered to work from home or shut down entirely (my own included).  The general consensus is that comparing this virus to the flu is silly.  We as Californians are all (well, most of us are) practicing social distancing and limiting leaving the home.  People are dying – Italy and China obviously were hit hard and most countries are on some form of lock down. The concept of “flattening the curve” is pretty well understood by most (keyword there is most, unfortunately).  News is continually changing by the day, if not the hour.

… And people are still spreading old articles or false information on Facebook.  Lol – that part I suppose will never change.

Notably it is Easter Sunday today, and I would like to share a few thoughts.  I’d like to start with some things that made me sad.  Don’t worry though, I will end with things that made me happy and thankful.

Sad list:

  • School year ending abruptly – Being unable to properly end the year with my high school students, especially the freshmen and the seniors. 
  • All of my gyms closing – The gyms have become a big part of my life and I have made some great friends in my students.  It immediately felt strange knowing that I wouldn’t be dancing around for 1-2 hours almost every day.
  • Social Life – Not being able to see my immediate family and friends for gatherings and random visits.

Happy list:

  • Online E-Learning – When things go south unexpectedly, it forces you to take leaps you didn’t think you would ever need to do because now we have no choice.  Teachers being forced to stay home allowed us the opportunity to learn how to connect digitally to continue teaching whether through Zoom, Google Hangouts, Facebook/Youtube Live, 8×8, Twitch and whatever else.  These formats enable me to connect with both my high school students as well as gym students.
  • Social Media – Social media is definitely a double edged sword and there is as much bad as there is good there.  However, for pandemic life – I say the good outweighs the bad.  Imagine for a second if we were locked down the way we are now but in a pre-Facebook, pre high speed internet time and all non essential businesses like Blockbuster were forced to close – we’d be really bored and 10x lonelier. Thanks for social media we are allowed to engage with people and feel connected.  I am happy being caught up to date with everyone in my network through the various social media platforms and also laughing at all the memes people come up with.
  • Reconnecting with MYSELF – Something that I figured out very early into the social distancing order is that I was never home pre-pandemic.  A typical Monday for me would be starting the day at 5:30AM, teach high school until 2PM, arrive home, take a nap, take care of Ouchii stuff, and then head to Crunch Fitness for 1 hour of Zumba and then change and get ready for the next 1 hour class at 24 Hour Fitness Crane. 

    My being a people person in all facets of my life including my 3 careers – I always put others’ needs before my own. Having my schedule suddenly cleared allowed me time to ask myself, “Hey, what do I want to do?  Or what do I need to do for myself?” which is something I forgot is so important to do.  I came up with the following:
    • Exercising – I am able to push my limits and try new exercises that I wouldn’t have to time to do before with the abundance of Zumba I was doing.  More Les Mills Body Pump!  More learning STRONG choreography.  More body weight exercises!  Of course learning some Zumba stuff as well.
    • “Diet” – Having the time to cook and see what goes into my food and trying to track macros better is a lot easier when I’m not on the road driving all over town.  I’ve made strides so much faster, and still eating like a whale. 
    • Decluttering – Reorganizing the apartment little by little and throwing out unneeded things.  First thing up was turning my garage into a space that allows me to exercise and hang out in.  (I’m typing this blog from there right now, as a matter of fact.)  I cleaned up my desk upstairs and we cleared out our kitchen.
    • Ouchii – Reconfiguring the business and planning the next stages.
    • Wedding – Figuring out the logistics of how this wedding will happen on August 8 when we are on a tight schedule.
    • Sleep – Catching up on sleep as much as possible.
    • Upping my Social Media Game – I’ve spent a considerable amount of time learning different tools to promote my endeavors.

The pandemic is obviously a terrible thing, and I do not want to take away from the myriad of problems that faces our daily lives but in the spirit of Easter, I’ve found that taking a minute to think about everything that I am thankful for really does bring some clarity and peace of mind. 

Happy Easter, friends and family!

X

Happy 4th of July!

Posted on by alvin

Today is the 4th of July! To say that the political climate in America is crazy right now is an understatement. However, I’d like to think that we as a country, holistically can acknowledge that we are happy to be living here, no matter what side of the political spectrum you are on. Are we perfect? No. Is there a lot of work let to do? Absolutely. But I’d rather be living here in the States than anywhere else on the globe.

Happy 4th, everyone! Have fun, be safe. Please be mindful of your dogs – they’re going to be miserable tonight.

A New Beginning

Posted on by alvin

When I was in high school, I kept journals and scrapbooked regularly. Contained in those beat-up cringeworthy notebooks are memories that helped shape my teenage years: the ups and downs of my friendships, the first moments where I thought I knew what love was, the dynamics of my family, major events and of course what I perceived to be important at the time.

I suddenly stopped writing once I wrapped up college and from the age of 22 (I just turned 33). Social media, of course played a huge role in that. The sudden ability to share events and opinions easily within seconds made the need to put pen down to paper obsolete as I was learning to navigate being an adult. Of course over the 11 years there have been major changes and milestones (for better or for worse) in my life and I hadn’t written one word. Well, anything of substance anyway.

As I sit here on summer vacation, I’ve come to realize that there is a lot that will happen over the next year in my life, and in my family and I want to document everything along the way.

So this is my blog. It’s public. I will share my life and multiple projects here, share advice, funny stories, fitness tips and whatever else comes into mind. I don’t know if people will read it, but I will find comfort in knowing that it is here for me to read, always.

x

Alvin